I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
