If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize