I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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