Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
