the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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