I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
