therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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