I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
