He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i believe in u and ur pee
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
