I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
