i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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