On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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