You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
