Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
