her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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