People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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