You smell like stripper and shame
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
