Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
