dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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