I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
