i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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