hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
operation harelip BJ is a go
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
try to milk me bitch
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