i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
