You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
