So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
