I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
