Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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