i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
