I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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