If i come over, it means nothing
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
