Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Pooping to opera.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
