i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
