Im at strip club and am horny
I need help removing her.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we're making bets on your personal life
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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