i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
a search helicopter?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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