Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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