at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
im holly from the hills drunk
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
