I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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