Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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