I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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