The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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