And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
