Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
