worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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