Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
