You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
