so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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