I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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