i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
love makes seman taste better
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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