whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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