i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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