Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize