I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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