and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
NoShamevember. You game?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
