the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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