At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
