Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
