found the other keg... it's in the tree
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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